Being Daddy
by Bleeding Writer
Summary: It has to be perfect. All of it has to be just right. Just right - but damn, this cradle to hell! BBRae oneshot. Rated T for language.


**Disclaimer: Hahahahaha...no.**

_This was a drabble requast I did on tumblr some months back:_

_"Dragonkyng asked: BB/Rae and the word is…. Fatherhood"_

_This is what I came up with._

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><p><span><strong>Being Daddy <strong>

"Goddamnit! Son of a bitch!" he hissed as he turned the tiny Ikea wrench around.

He sighed as he turned to look at the instructions, reading the same sentence for the 20th time. "Turn the screw clockwise while pressing the…" He murmured under his breath before trying it again.

She watched him from the doorway, just recently in from her outing with Starfire. She knew he was going to work on the room today but she didn't think he was going to do This much. Looking around the now completely painted blue room, she saw he put together the changing station together and moved all of the furniture where they had mapped everything to be. The two person stroller sat in the corner, completely assembled and set up. And now he was working on what looked to be the crib.

"God fucking shit damnit!" he cussed again as the thing fell apart again.

"Well, That is a string of words," she said, making her presence known to him finally. She saw him jump a little as she turned to him. She smirked, "Very colorful, really."

"Hey Rae," he smiled a bit nervously before climbing up on his feet and walking over to her. "How are you doing? You really shouldn't be in here - the paint fumes are still fresh."

She moved away from him just as he tried to scoot her out and walked further into the room. "You've been busy."

"Yeah…" He smiled meekly. "I started this morning after you left and I haven't stopped. I mean, there's so much to do and so little time. I mean I know we have another three months but those three months are going to fly like crazy. And then, they're going to be here and I didn't want them in a freshly painted room - you shouldn't be in here, by the way -"

"Oh, I'm fine, Gar," she brushed off as she looked around. She furrowed her eyes at a white chair in the corner. "I don't remember getting a rocking chair."

"Oh, uh… Yeah-"

"Or the wagon… Or that bouncing chair… Or a lot of this really…" She noted as she looked up at the beautifully crafted ornaments that hung from the ceiling. "Is those the mobiles we saw at-

"That one fancy baby store you liked? Yeah…" He nodded as he shuffled from foot to foot, moving around. "I just thought it would look really nice with the painted clouds we have up there. And uh- this rocking chair is really comfortable, great for late night feedings and all of that. And the wagon is for holding their toys in. At least for now. Once they get older they could pull stuff around on it and all that. And um… This thing - this is really cool…"

She watched him go around the room, talking a mile a minute. The more he talked, the more he seemed to get nervous and jittery. She saw the gravity of the situation slowly spread over his face and take over his body like a fast moving virus. He breathing became shorter and his hands started to twitch.

"…And I should really get back to putting the crib together." He finished as he turned back to his work in progress. He crotched down next to the structure and picked up the instructions, mumbling the words as he read.

Giving a gentle smile, she walked over to him and began to lightly scratch at his head. "Stop… You've done enough today," she spoke softly.

"Can't," he answered simply, too invested in his project to allow himself to cave into her caresses just yet. "I have about three months to everything ready for them. And it needs to be perfect. I can't have them come into this world with anything less than that. I still have this crib to make and the other one. And then, I have to put up all the decorations on the walls and get the toys together and baby proof the whole house and sign up for those daddy and me classes in advance and -

"Gar..." she called out to him, squeezing his shoulders and kneeling down to him, "Calm down. Everything is going to be fine."

"How do you know that? What if they don't like me? What if they hate me? What if I'm not a good enough dad, Rae? Or worse, what if they love me and then something happens and I'm not here and all I can leave them with is this!" He cried, tossing down his screw driver in frustration. His eyes glistened and shone with tears as he balled his fists, his feelings bubbling over. "This room and those mobiles and the stroller and the toys and these blasted cribs! So this has to be perfect. Because what if this is it? What if this is all I can give them, Rae?"

His body shook as he bent over, burying his face in his hands as he cried. Raven's fingers ran through his hair, in attempt to soothe her husband. Caving in, he leaned into her chest and cried into it, soaking her shirt with his tears. He wrapped his arms around her back and held tight.

"What if I'm not there for them, Rae? What if it's not good enough?" He wept into her chest.

She felt her heart break for him as he cried. She knew that it was his biggest fear - not being there for his children - for the twins. On more than one occasion has he woken up in a panic after having a nightmare about dying in battle and leaving the children with little to no memory of him.

It was the reason why they were all giving up their lives as super heroes and devoting themselves to a life of normalcy and parenthood.

They sat there together for a while, just holding each other. But suddenly, the crying stopped and he slowly let go of her, pulling back so that he was face to face with her round belly. He put his hand on her stomach and kissed it softly.

"Daddy loves you - both of you. And he promises this room is going to be perfect when you get here," He murmured before he sat up and went back to the crib.

Raven tilted her head at him in worry, still caressing the back of his head. "Gar…"

"The paint is still wet," he replied, picking up his wrench and looking over at the instructions. He read them silently before he stood up and held out his hands to her, "You shouldn't be in here breathing all these paint fumes."

She nodded before giving him her hands and standing up. After he helped her up, he kissed her softly and walked her out for the room.

"I love you…" She said just as she walked out of the room, turning to him. He smiled and kissed her lips softly.

"I love you too, Rae," he breathed into the kiss before pulling back.

"Try not to physically attack the crib?"

He laughed a little, the old Beast Boy etching onto his features. "No promises."

She watched him go back inside to the room to the crib. He sighed as he looked at it before he crouched down and went to work at it. She smiled to herself and rubbed her belly that harbored two lives within it.

"You guys are gonna be so lucky. Your dad loves you so much," she whispered to her stomach with a soft smile. "I can't wait for you guys to meet him."

"_Fucking shi_t!"

"But I really hope he cleans up his language by that point…"

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